Drunk Bible Stories — The Eleventh Plague

By Ernest Kearney  — I once taught a class entitled “Industry Reality 101.”


The purpose of the class was to strip my students of the delusion, that they had a snowball’s chance in the sauna parlor of Hell, of ever having an acting career in this town, and send their butts fleeing from Hollywood — even if they lived here.


Generally, the first few classes would number around sixty.  Fresh, smiling faces full of confidence that they were destined for stardom.


And then I would stroll in wearing a hockey mask and powering up my chain saw.


By the third class I was down to about twenty.


God I loved that job.


But one thing I always recommended to the survivors was to get into a good improv class.


It didn’t matter whether or not they thought of themselves as funny.


Improvisation teaches an actor two very important skills; how to think on their feet and how to listen to those sharing the stage with them.

These are the essential tools of good improv, neither of which could be seen on the stage of Drunk Bible Stories.

It is never a good sign when those on stage are laughing more than those in the audience.

Sadly, EARWAX…the third.

♦      ♦      ♦


Drunk Bible Stories

Played During Hollywood Fringe Festival 2018

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Written by

An award-winning L.A. playwright and rabble-rouser of note who has hoisted glasses with Orson Welles, been arrested on three continents and once beat up Charlie Manson. His first play, "Among the Vipers" was a semi-finalist in the Julie Harris Playwriting Competition and was featured in the Carnegie-Mellon Showcase of New Plays. It was produced at the NPT Theater in Ashland, Oregon and Los Angeles’ celebrated Odyssey Ensemble Theatre. His following play, “The Little Boy Who Loved Monsters” was produced at The Hollywood Actors Theater, where he earned praise from the Los Angeles Times for his “…inordinately creative writing.” The play went on to numerous other productions including Berlin’s The Black Theatre under the direction of Rainer Fassbinder who wrote in his program notes of Kearney, “He is a skilled playwright, but more importantly he is a dangerous one.” Ernest Kearney has worked as literary manager or as dramaturge for among others The Hudson Theater Guild, Nova Diem and the Odyssey Ensemble Theatre, where he still serves on the play selection committee. He has been the recipient of two Dramalogue Awards and a finalist or semi-finalist, three times, in the Julie Harris Playwriting Competition. His work has been performed by Michael Dunn, Sandra Tsing Loh, Jack Colvin and Billy Bob Thornton, and to date, either as playwright or director, he has upwards of a hundred and thirty productions under his belt, including a few at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater as puppeteer. Kearney remains focused on his writing, as well as living happily ever after with his lovely wife Marlene. His stage reviews and social essays can be found at TheTVolution.com and workingauthor.com. Follow him on Facebook.

Latest comment
  • That’s a great image, Ernest!
    I wish I’d gone to your class instead of “Flash Forward” and others, only too willing to teach me the same lesson by taking my money and stoking my illusions. Now I’m off to find an improv class!


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